Don't Cry
by suchaphangirl
Summary: Dan and Phil are arguing again. Dan runs out and Phil follows him Dan pours his heart out to Phil about how he really feels.


"I don't want to talk about this anymore, Phil!" Dan Howell yelled at his boyfriend.

They were arguing again. They seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Dan had been best friends with Phil Lester for over four years now. That's a really long time. Or, that's what it felt like to them. It wasn't until a couple weeks ago when Phil poured his heart out to Dan about how he really felt about him. Dan was quite shocked when Phil said that he was in love with him but happy at the same time because he felt the same. He just always kept to himself. Phil hadn't even known that Dan was even gay. He just poured his heart to Dan, taking a chance and hoped that Dan would give him just one chance.

But now it's been a month since Dan and Phil had officially started dating. Things were going okay. They were very happy to be with each other like this finally. The only problem was that Phil wanted to come out to their friends, family and Youtube subscribers whilst Dan, on the other hand, wanted to keep their relationship private. He felt that it wasn't the internet's business that they came out or not. He was happy just the way he was. He didn't mind hiding. But, Phil did. Phil didn't want to have to hide his love for Dan. He wanted to be able to hold Dan's hand and hug him and kiss in public whenever he pleased. Dan didn't want that apparently. Phil didn't understand why Dan wanted to keep hiding their relationship like this.

It was a Friday evening, around 6 o' clock. Dan and Phil had been arguing for the past hour about the same thing. Dan was getting frustrated and upset about the whole situation. He just didn't want to deal with it anymore.

"Why can't you just take no for an answer?!" Dan yelled at Phil.

"Why can't you take yes for an answer?" Phil asked calmer. Dan rolled his eyes as he continued pacing. "You won't give me a good solid reason why we shouldn't come out to the internet, Dan." Phil said. Dan turned and looked at him. "And don't you dare say 'the Phan shippers will ruin everything'! That is not an answer." He warned.

"It is in my book." Dan snapped. Phil scoffed and shook his head.

"Why are you so afraid of coming out?" Phil asked nervously. Dan glared at him.

"I'm not afraid!" Dan yelled. "I told you before, Phil! I don't think it's any of the internet's business. We shouldn't _have _to come out to them." Dan snapped. He shook his head and continued pacing.

"I understand that, Dan. But, wouldn't it be much easier if we just told them? You won't even tell your own bloody family!" Phil yelled. Phil hated that they were arguing like this. Phil didn't like drama in his life.

"What I tell my family is my own fucking business!" Dan yelled. Phil frowned. "I'm done talking about this!"

"Dan, please." Phil begged. Dan's eyes began to water up as he stared at Phil.

"You just don't understand how I feel." Dan mumbled.

"Then make me understand." Phil whispered. He went to walk over to Dan but Dan quickly turned around and ran out of the lounge. "Dan!" Phil yelled with shock. He went to follow Dan but Dan was already down the stairs and out the door. Phil walked back into the lounge and then he sat down on the couch. He hid his face in his hands as a couple of tears fell out of his eyes.

Dan ran out of the apartment as fast as he could. He had no idea what he was doing or where he was going but he knew that he just needed to get out of there and get some fresh air. Dan hated arguing with Phil. They usually never argued like this. They only ever argued over silly, stupid things but they would get over it because they were friends. They were best friends. They shouldn't be arguing like this. But, coming out was a sensitive subject to Dan.

It's now been about 20 minutes since Dan had left the apartment. Phi was going to let Dan just stay out for a while. But, Phil had gotten worried and had immediately left the apartment. He couldn't wait any longer. He didn't want to wait any longer. He was only worried that Dan had gone out and maybe hurt himself somehow. That was the only thing that Phil was worried about. He just needed to know if Dan was okay still. Phil had never seen Dan so upset before. Sure, they argued a lot. But, Dan had never run out in tears like that before and it broke Phil's heart seeing Dan like that.

Once Phil left the apartment, he immediately went out to search for Dan. He didn't know where to start but he was going to look everywhere he possibly could for Dan. He wanted to find Dan and take him home where Phil knew he would be safe.

The first place Phil thought to look was the town park. Dan sometimes went there whenever he needed to get some fresh air or if he wanted to go somewhere quiet to think or just have time to himself. The park was one of Dan's favorite spot.

Phil finally ended the park after about walking for 20 minutes. Phil nervously looked around for Dan. He stood there for a few seconds, looking around, before he finally spotted Dan leaning against a lamp post. Phil blinked a few times when he felt a rain drop fall on him. He looked up and sighed when he saw that it was now raining which was the last thing he needed to happen.

Phil nervously made his way over to Dan. Dan didn't seem to hear him. He was just staring at the ground. He didn't even seem to care that it had begun raining either. Phil walked beside Dan.

"Dan?" Phil asked. Dan looked over and was shocked when he saw Phil.

"How-How did you find me?" Dan asked nervously. Phil shrugged his shoulders.

"I wanted to come look for you and I figured you'd be here. You always come here when need to think." Phil said calmly.

"I'm not coming home." Dan mumbled as he looked away from him. Phil frowned.

"It's raining, Dan. You'll get sick if you stay here any longer." Phil told him. Dan rolled his eyes.

"I don't care if I get sick!" He yelled. Phil took a deep breath.

"Dan, please. I don't want to argue anymore." Phil whispered.

"You're the one who keeps bringing the subject up." Dan snapped.

"I only want to talk about it. You're the one who keeps yelling at me." Phil said. Dan scoffed and crossed his arms against his chest. His eyes began to water up but luckily Phil couldn't see as it was raining. "Dan, please tell me what's really wrong?" Dan turned and finally looked at Phil. Phil stared at him.

"I'm not ready to come out, Phil" Dan yelled. "I'm only 22 years old. I still think of myself as a kid! I'm not ready to go come out to three million people yet. That's a lot of people! I haven't even told my family that I'm gay. How am I supposed to tell the internet that I'm gay when I can't even figure out what I'm going to say to my family?" Dan asked. "I want to come out. I really do, Phil. I hate hiding our relationship just as much as you do. I know that I said before that I didn't care about it before but it does bother me. I understand why you want to come out. But, this isn't easy for me. I need time to think about what I'm going to say to my family and friends first before I get to the internet." Dan explained. He took a deep breath. Phil stared at him with shock. Dan quickly whipped away a tear that fell out of his eyes.

"Dan, I…Please don't cry." Phil begged. "I feel like such an idiot." Dan frowned. "Why didn't you tell me how you felt?"

"I don't know." Dan mumbled. He shrugged his shoulders.

"If you would have told me this before than I wouldn't have minded hiding our relationship a little bit longer." Phil whispered.

"Really?" Dan asked. Phil stepped closer to Dan.

"I don't want to pressure you into something that you're not ready to do yet. If you say you aren't ready then you aren't. But, Dan, we can't hide our relationship forever. You know that, right?" Phil asked. Dan nodded.

"I know. I don't want to hide our relationship forever either. If you just…Give me a couple more weeks to think about what I'm going to say to my family and friends then I'll be ready to tell the internet." Dan said. Phil smiled. "Are you mad at me?" Phil rolled his eyes. He cupped Dan's face with his hands and kissed him. Dan's eyes went wide with shock. It took him a few seconds before he finally kissed Phil back. This was their first kiss. They had never kissed before even though they've been together for a month now. They were waiting for the perfect time. Phil pulled away from the kiss a few seconds later. Dan stared at him with shock. Phil took a deep breath.

"I'm not mad at you." Phil whispered. "Just let me know when you're ready to come out." He said. Dan nodded

"Thank you so much, Phil." Dan wrapped his arms around Phil and hugged him. Phil smiled and immediately hugged him back.

"I love you." Phil whispered. Dan smiled and held onto him tighter.

"I love you, too." Dan said. He let go of Phil. Phil looked at Dan.

"Shall we go home then?" Phil asked. "The rain is really coming down." Dan sighed.

"Yeah, we better get home." Dan said. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan.

"Let's go home." Dan smiled. Dan followed Phil as he led the way out of the park.


End file.
